ApologetiX: Downer of a Sister

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Wake up
We probably should talk a little, Jacob
Why? Because there’s been a major shake-up
Light the lamp they keep upon the table
Yeah, you married me instead of Rachel

You want me to
Wear a veil and never put the shades up?
You want me to
Try to starve and find a way to shape up?
You want me to
Drive to Egypt get myself a facial?
You want me to?

Oh, I don’t think you trust in
My shelf-life as your new bride
I tried
But Rachel’s the perfect size!

Wake up
Laban, you’re in trouble, this is Jacob
Open up the door or it’ll break up
Why’d you give me Leah instead of Rachel
Yeah you know she ain’t no Charlie’s Angel

(You wanted to)
Even if she puts on lots of make-up
(Put fun into)
Leah’s face could scare away your hiccups
(My honeymoon)
I’ve seen better faces on a bagel
(I’ll punish you)

Why don’t we discuss this nice
Downsize your foolish pride
Why fight? I gave you the first in line
And I threw in a concubine
All right, for Rachel just serve me twice

Father! Father! Father! Father!
Father it’s too intense; I can’t stand to hear it
Father you knew the plan
Why did you give Jacob me?
In disguise so secretly?
Is there no escape for me?
It’s my heart you’re breaking, please no!

Brushed aside – Now I’m just doing time
I cry while Jacob diversifies
Can’t lie
She’s such a cutie pie
Why try
When Rachel’s the perfect bride

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